I am first and foremost a spiritual being who has been wounded in life by its downers, disasters and many disappointments. I am in the process of recovering from my wounds. We cannot recover from anything that has wounded us if we do not even recognize the need for us to get involved in a recovery process for us to heal. We must closely examine the social environment that resulted in us first being wounded, though these wounds may not be apparent on the surface. Many times these wounds are in the mental and spiritual realms.
I was blessed to be born into a Mexican-American family with two beautiful parents and raised in the Southside Park area of Sacramento, California. I went to school and graduated from Sacramento Senior High in 1969. In my high school years I was already becoming politically aware and active. I was a member of MAYA, the Brown Berets, MECHA and other progressive groups. At the time, smoking marijuana and drinking booze was part of the whole scene, being cool and hip. It was no big deal.
It was at the end of the crazy 60s and going into the zany 70s. As I got older into my tens I became more and more involved in a loose life-style, along with alcohol and other drugs, such as, acid, mescaline, hash and peyote. Way later in my mid-40s I got strung out on ‘crank’ or methamphetamine for almost two years. It seems I was destined to become a hard-core drug addict.
Along the way I had several different jobs that did not last for more than a few years. I eventually lost them all for one reason or another, usually involving alcoholism, though, not always.
I saw the injustice in the world, the evils of corporate capitalism and over the years I came to realize that a mature fascism was ‘in power and control’ inside the United States. Many times in the past I felt so powerless to change connected reality. Disgusted by life I turned to alcohol and drugs to numb the pain, to take me out into the oblivion of being stoned out of my mind.
Today my sobriety date is June 24, 2004. In September of 2010, because of Sacramento County Cutbacks I got Laid Off from my job at the local Salvation Army where I was employed as a Caseworker and functioned as a Counselor.
It is hard if not impossible to express these thoughts in general without going into personal matters. It is a truism that we are as sick as our secrets, those deep dark secrets we reveal to no one, including to ourselves. Many times when we suffer in our addiction our own insane denial hides us from seeing what we have become and who we are in life. Once we overcome our core denial we open the possibility of seeing ourselves in the light of truth. We can clearly recognize that, to put it lightly, we have ‘a problem’ and need to work on ‘a solution’.
The major problem that became a plague in my life has been addiction in general and drug addiction in particular. Addiction is the harmful habit of indulging in a substance or aspect of life that one craves, takes pleasure in and continues to engage in despite negative consequences.
Usually addiction is an on-going behavior pattern exhibited in the physical realm, though it can also be a mental addiction taking place in the mind. There are many kinds of addiction that people suffer from, not only drug addiction.
Inside the United States we now live in a highly addictive society. Many of us are addicted to work, to entertainment, to consumer consumption, to sex, to alcohol and drugs and even to ourselves. We must distinguish between use, abuse and addiction. Addiction results in our lives being out-of-balance. Addiction has harmful negative consequences. We may recover for short periods of time then we often relapse back into the pursuit of our addiction. It is a self-destructive life-style we can transform if we follow certain suggestions and raise our inner consciousness.
I am now involved in my own Spiritual Liberation program and progressive recovery wherein I seek total liberation from all forms of oppression, including liberation from drug addiction and its negative consequences: ruined health, homelessness, jails, institutions and death. Progressive recovery is based upon the original A.A. 12-Steps program. A key element in my recovery is advocating for, supporting and promoting progressive causes. I strive to change the conditions of life in my environment that because of my self-loathing first got me caught up into the many dangers of drug addiction and other negative life-styles. Fighting for humane liberation, progressive recovery and building up my self-esteem are key elements in my own spiritual growth towards wholeness as a humane spiritual being.
Each of us is a unique being. In the process of living we must remember where we have been, find out who we are deep inside, keep in mind where we are here now and strive to create visions for the future. We must decide how we want to be, how we want to live out our lives and ultimately we need to find inner peace within ourselves ~seek serenity in life.
Let us have a spiritual awakening in the world. Let us come together and work on our spiritual healing. Let us help our loved ones who require healing to join with us so we can heal together.
Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”