Once upon a time, I was employed as a Case Manager and Counselor at the local Salvation Army Emergency Shelter, the largest shelter in the Sacramento area. I loved that job but due to Sacra County Cutbacks I was Laid Off. Plus, I never did kick-ass to the so-called Management so I was among the first to go. After my savings ran out I decided to go into the local shelter system myself. Let’s just say I went through some heavy changes as it grieves me just to type all this up right now , but I do it for self-clarification. Plus, I believe in the Power of the Word!
I am now on SSI and stay in a bare bunker room at the Shasta Hotel in Sacramento. Being on SSI has enabled me to spend my time dong what I want to do, not what I have to do in the regular wage-slave market. I am grateful and hope to write a book between here and death in an attempt to live in economic independence without having to rely on SSI.
When I first applied for SSI I had my initial Interview. I had a history of mental illness from the mid-70s. I made the error at my initial SSI Interview of projecting how intelligent I was, at least subconsciously, because I did not like the counter-intelligence stigma of being bi-polar. Fortunately, I was accepted in less than a month awaiting Final Determination, but after two months of SSI check my Final Determination was denied. An initial Denial seems to be routine for SSI. Thus, I had to go through the agony of an SSI appeal. Fortunately, I had a community agency called Guest House advocating for me.
For my second Interview as part of the process I told them the whole truth about me. I did not hold back. When I am in a severe mood swing my bipolar disorder gets dramatically and substantially worse. In a depressed mood I could contemplate suicide, then in a manic mood I have the potential for homicide. Predictably I was finally approved. Thus, I basically had to admit the extremity of when I am in a severe bipolar state of mind or being.
I generally handle my bipolar condition with an awareness of my ‘condition’, certain mind-control techniques, earnest heartfelt prayer and contemplative meditation. At night I take a small dose of Seroquel with a capsule of Melatonin as a sleep enhancer.
I also work a Progressive Recovery Program, being a former dope fiend and drunk, that I augment with a basic Spiritual Liberation Program. My Liberation Program emphasizes a basic humane rights agenda and an advocacy of progressive causes and issues. I am not blind. I understand the matrix of social conditions that creates a whole array of mental disorders, personality problems and violent conflicts in the world. I believe we need to work on our Inner Liberation as we strive for an actual Global Liberation from an Evil Empire.
In the context of connected reality all objective existential realities are inherently interconnected. There is no ‘out there’ out there. All phenomena in the cosmos exists in the context of connected reality. Think global, work local.
I no longer am saddled with the bias repressive opinions of others. I do not care how popular I am in the world, do not require validation from anyone else and follow a path with heart. I must honor my own truth. I KNOW I am in a sick, twisted, insane and inhumane society. Here in the USA the minds of many are locked down by fascist repressive propaganda and the public is kept in the darkness of ignorance. I have broken the mental hold that has subjected so many of my brothers and sisters.
Many in the world are frozen by fear, cowardly crippled and are afraid to at least speak out against the Evil Empire that rules this hellish world. There are wars and rumors of war. The Evil Empire wants an excuse to attack Iran. The U.S. government itself has become a ruthless rogue regime.
Millionaires control the U.S. Congress. The U.S. Electoral System is controlled by a corrupt two-party system. The U.S. President is a war monger with his own Kill Lists. Voting for the Lessor or Two Evils is itself evil. Amerika needs to wake up! We need to help wake up the world.
My mind is free, open and liberated. Thus, I must follow the dictates of my higher conscience, not the repressed mentalities of the enslaved herd around me. Inner Liberation is an inside job. Global Liberation by any means necessary remains the long-term Strategic Aim.
Nowadays, I need to continue the work on getting rid of my character defects, shortcomings and inner demons ‘in the process’ of transforming connected reality. In a way, I have had to go it alone for a long time. I do still believe in developing leadership, building community infrastructure and global networking on a large scale. Life is going to get much much worse until many more of us stand up and take a stand against the Evil Empire and fight hard for Global Liberation. The slave who is to be free must strike the first death blow against the slavemaster.
Liberation Now! Peter S. Lopez AKA @Peta_de_Aztlan