Who I Am via Peter S. López aka @Peta_de_Aztlan:
Update: Friday~ December 5, 2014
I AM First and Foremost a humane being living upon Mother Earth, before any labels of sex, race, nation, ethnic group, tribe, clan or other categories.
We should be leery of throwing certain labels on ourselves for self-identity, especially psychiatric labels, those that divide us from others and those that hide our true genuine nature.
We are ultimately complex living beings, not doings. An authentic humane being has tender care, general concern and loving compassion for all living beings.
In the overall context of connected reality today, we should strive for unity as one loving Family of Humanity. However, we should not fool ourselves. We are not now all truly one people. There are many divisions amongst us whose roots we need to understand for us to ever unify as one people of Mother Earth.
Present-day global society is class society caught up in the chaos of class struggles, class wars and cleavaged between two main economic classes: the 99+% of the ‘have-nots’ and the -1% of the ‘haves’. The ancient war between the forces of good and the forces of evil continues on today. Indeed, the potential for good and evil is in all of us. We must make our own conscious decisions as to where we stand in relation to the world. Each of us is a unique creature in our own way. We can describe ourselves in different ways.
I can relate to different self-identity labels about Who I Am, yet I am not stuck on any one of them. I also consider myself a Chicano de Aztlán. Change is a constant flux. I am not the same man now I was when I woke up at the crack of dawn nor will I be the same man later on when I go to sleep tonight.
Words are agreed upon symbols and sounds for our communicating with each other. Words can mean so much more than the mortal mind can fully explain or the naked eye can ever behold. Sometimes we have to feel our way with the inner heart from the known to the unknown without fear. We live within the vast infinite cosmos composed of countless galaxies beyond our vision. We are stationed near the edge of the Milky Way Galaxy. Maybe others who live on distant galaxies see ours and call it by another name.
As a conscious creature of the Creator, I believe in the Prime Creator of the Cosmos My primary intention in being here now is to strive to live in a conscious state of cosmic consciousness in communion with connected reality, help others as I can along the way and attempt to leave this Earthly existence a better place than when I first came into this world.
My creative work in life is a double-helix that spirals around fighting for Global Liberation in the outer world and at the same time seeking greater inner Spiritual Liberation within my own beingness. I strive to humbly help raise mass consciousness; as I work on deepening my own personal spiritual consciousness. In fact, working on my personal enlightenment is one of my main priorities in life.
Choose for yourself as to whether you are a believer in the Creator, commonly called God, or not. It is up to you, no one else. Live your own life inside your life. Your physical body hosts and belongs to your inner spirit, take care of it well. You only have one life to live in each lifetime. You have a divinely ordained free will. Use your own free will with conscious liberty, peace of mind and a humane conscientiousness.
Do not allow your authentic self to be bent, distorted or warped by anyone else, especially those in positions of power and authority. Be true to your self. Know yourself and be who you are, not want someone else wants you to be. Enrich your own beingness for your own inner joy, personal happiness and spiritual serenity. Do not be foolish and make bad karma for yourself. Do not harm anyone else if you can avoid it. Be at peace with others as much as you can. We are here to love, help and understand one another!
~ Background ~ I was born one rainy stormy night on November 15, 1951 in Sacramento, California. My personal ancestry on my Dad’s side goes back to Geronimo aka Goyathlay, the Chiricahua Apache Warrior Chief. I also have a great-grandfather a few generations back who was a Yaqui Chief of a tribe never conquered by the Spaniards in Sonora, Mexico. I do not know his name. So much of our old history has been destroyed by the Spanish Conquistadors.
My blood parents are named Pete Macias Lopez and Ella Perez Lopez. I love them both so much. My Dad aka Pops now lives in West Sacramento. My dear Mom passed over to the other side in 1991. I have one older sister named Linda Carol and two younger brothers named Steven Lopez, who ia mentally retarded as a result of getting TB Meningitis as a child. Robert S. Lopez, my beloved ‘baby brother’ sadly died April 8, 2013, due to bad health decisions.
I started Kindergarten at Washington Elementary School and was there up to high 3rd grade, when we moved across town by Southside Park. I went to William Land Elementary School up to 6th Grade; the old Lincoln Jr. High School for three years; then Sacramento Senior High School from where I barely graduated in June of 1969. A lot of other political activities were going on in my life at the time.
I got involved in the Movement or ‘Movimiento’ in the late 60s. For a bit, I went to Sacramento State College, but quit to go to work after I got married to Pauline Belen Gonzalez. Her and I created one son together named Camilo Esteban Lopez who was born on my birthday ~ November 15th of 1971. Her and I later divorced. I hope to reunite with my son between here and death. Sometime after his Mom and I split up I was no longer allowed to see him for no good reason despite early promises. She ended up with my ex-best friend from childhood Bicton Gee. I was OK with that and happy for the both of them. Her and I just drifted away from each other.
Life for me has been a long and winding road, with side detours along the way. Even since my teenage years I have been interested in the plight of oppressed people, progressive causes and political movements. I was an early volunteer with Friends of the Farmworkers in support of the United Farmworkers Union, was in the Brown Berets here in Sacra for a few years, the Chicano student organization called MECHA at Sac State and have been involved in numerous social groups, movements and political organizations over the years.
Employment-wise, I have had many jobs. A few of them were really good ones. Since my early teens I drank alcohol and it got increasingly worse over the years. My alcoholism finally caught up with me. I became a drunk, then a dope fiend for almost two years in the mid-90’s. I openly admit I became a low-life dope dealer lost in the darkness of sin out in the lowlands of Del Paso Heights. Predictably, I eventually found myself wandering in the streets without a home.
With the clarity of hindsight, I see my past indulgences in chemical addictions retarded my life progress, natural development and spiritual growth. Alas, I am still alive and learning! With no immediate blood family willing to give me shelter, I went into the local Salvation Army Emergency Shelter for homeless people where the roots of my recovery are. Becoming homeless turned out to be the best worst thing that ever happened to me. I sobered up, got involved with a Christian recovery group called CASA and then went to Mather Community Campus (MCC) around 2001 to 2002. MCC is a transitional housing program for homeless people in the Rancho Cordova area.
While I was at MCC I grew up a lot in my spiritual growth and developed my computer skills online. I mainly went there to maintain my sobriety as I already had good job skills. While I was at MCC I fell in lovely lust and got married briefly to one Sheila Jarvis for dumb reasons. I am still technically married. I do not even consider our marriage as a real marriage now. Long story short, I eventually became a Case Manager and Counselor at the local Salvation Army Emergency Shelter from October 2006 to September of 2010. Due to Sacra County Cutbacks in funding and not being a kiss ass, I was laid off by the Director Elizabeth Hudson.
Present Time ~ I am now on SSI Disability behind a Bipolar Diagnosis. I am OK with that for now. Labels are labels. I admit to having a few negative tendencies, such as, OCD and ADHD. I manage them as I do life ~ with consciousness, prayer and meditation, thus, they do not become all out disorders. I am glad to be out of the wage-slave market. It affords me the freedom, time and survival income I need to work on more important spiritual matters. I hope to get something published between here and death to share with others, get off SSI, earn a decent income and travel around. Plus, keep in mind that I am a recovered dope fiend and drunk.
In the past, I have helped coordinate CASA 12-Steps Meetings on Sundays at 7 PM at the local Salvation Army Emergency Shelter at 1200 North ‘B’ Street, Sacramento, California. I had been doing open meetings there for over 10 years. It is a progressive Christian recovery group, though I am not stuck on any one religion or denomination. It’s a little complicated. I make a point of staying away from any kind of fanaticism or cultism.
I am now a senior resident at the low-income Shasta Hotel in Downtown Sacramento, in the heart of the city. I am in a cluttered little room I refer to as my underground bunker. It suits me for now, but someday I want a room of my own with a good natural view, not the prison-like courtyard I see now. Nonetheless, I appreciate my blessings with an attitude of gratitude. I am not anonymous hiding. We can be as sick as our secrets.
My life has had a lot of twists and turns, ups and downs, ins and outs. This is just a brief sketch. As of this typing, I am now 63-Earth years of age. At times I feel so ancient and wise, at other times I can be so childish and ignorant. Life goes on within us and surely life goes on without us.
I feel there are many more awesome adventures and enlightening experiences to come ahead for me. I hope the best is yet to come for me in this lifetime. I have tried to be of help to others and not just take up space. I am single and on my own now. I am open to being involved in a committed intimate relationship with a beautiful woman one of these days, but I am not looking for one. I have had a weakness for beautiful women over the years from time to time. I am not sure I can be forever faithful sexually to any one woman now. I love women, their brains are different. Women are the better half of humanity. When the love is ready the lover appears.
Over the years I have learned better than ever who I really am in my own being and what I want to do with my life from here on out. I am a Truth Warrior who travels on a path with heart. I strive to be Honest, Open and Willing in all my relations: that is HOW my Spiritual Liberation Program works. As Don Juan said:
“Before you embark on any path ask the question: Does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path. The trouble is nobody asks the question; and when a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him. At that point very few men can stop to deliberate, and leave the path. A path without a heart is never enjoyable. You have to work hard even to take it. On the other hand, a path with heart is easy; it does not make you work at liking it.”
I am a humble helper here to help an endangered species called humankind achieve true Spiritual Liberation from unnecessary pain, misery and suffering. I continue to work on my own spiritual evolution. At the same time, I am a practical realist, not a naive idealist. I aim to help topple the Evil Empire and help institute justice in the world. Humanity is an endangered species already on the edge of extinction!
A relevant revolution on a global scale would be a global leap forward for the evolution of humankind. We need to unite together on a common humane rights agenda and destroy the Evil Empire by any and all means necessary! I prefer a Peaceful Revolution and to exhaust all peaceful methods of struggle, but if need be I will wage a war to the knife and take it to the graveyard!
“Let me be me: free to create, free to love, free to work and free to help others! ”Let me be free to be a man, free to travel, free to stop, free to trade where I choose, free to choose my own teachers, free to follow the religion of my fathers, free to talk, think and act for myself – and I will obey every law or submit to the penalty.” ~Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce.
Each of us must seek and find our own truth. When our truth merges together with others there can be agreement, when we differ with each other we can agree to disagree, yet still respect each other in our common humanity.
Let us love one another, shine the light of love and speak the truth in all our ways. Follow the truth wherever it leads without fear. Do not be swayed by the passing winds of dogmatic doctrines held by any fools or fiends. Be not be easily impressed by fancy words spouted by fast talkers. Seek no guru, have no mortal master. Be your own Spiritual Leader. When the student is ready the teacher appears.
Be master of your own life. Determine your own destiny. Call no man boss. My only boss is the Prime Creator, as I am inspired by the Holy Ghost. Seek the refinement of simplicity. Simplify the complex, do not complicate the simple. Love the Creator of the Cosmos, stay straight and help others make it through this modern wicked wilderness called civilization. Treasure your life. It is precious, sacred and yours to live! Discover your own spiritual truth on the Spiritual Journey of life. See that we are ultimately Spiritual Beings!
Namaste! Peter S. Lopez aka @Peta_de_Aztlan
Note: I will refine and update this central blog post from time to time. I share who I am and where I am coming from in my personal life. Sharing is caring. Let us care about all of suffering humanity. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ http://twitter.com/Peta_de_Aztlan ~ @Peta_de_Aztlan